Roller Coaster From Terrified to Enraged

Thursday June 6, 2013,

Dearest Shelby and Dalton,

Well the last 10 days have been quite the roller coaster.  We had blood work done on May 29, the coordinator called with "mixed results".  Yes, contrary to the saying "there's no such thing as being a little bit pregnant", apparently there is and apparently, I am.  The mixed results were that my hcg levels were low at 16.8.  She said at that point, they liked to see around 50.  After doing some independent research, I found that anything less than 5 is definitely not pregnant, but you need at least 25 to be "officially" pregnant.  So, we would retest on May 31, as hcg levels should double every 48 hours, but again they hoped to see above 100 at that point.  More mixed results.... hcg levels did double, to 33.8, they "did exactly what we asked them to do", according to the coordinator, but still not where they wanted them to be.  So, another test scheduled for Thursday June 6.  Being kind of anal and definitely type A, I did the math.  Perfect doubling three times from May 31 to June 6 would be at least 270.4, but the coordinator said by then they want to see 500.

Fast forward to June 6.  I had the blood work at 9AM (done by the lazy, lackadaisical slacker who I have grown to despise).  I waited and waited and waited.  No one called, so by 3:45, I was calling to speak with the coordinator.  She asked "Did they say anything to you when they drew the blood?".  I informed her that the slacker barely said anything at all and that I really have issues with her.  Apparently, their typical policy is to not put rush orders on repeat tests, and slacker SHOULD have told me that, but she failed to do so.  What's even worse is supposedly the coordinator put a rush order on my test because of all we've been through, but the slacker failed to notice the rush order.  So, the coordinator called the lab, left a message to get the results "STAT",  and promised to call me tonight.

So finally, at 6:44PM, I received the call from the coordinator.  I am still technically pregnant, because my levels were 241, but they should have been 500.  So, the coordinator talked with both the doctors, who want me to come back for another test on Monday June 10.  I'm done.  I have officially decided to not give a fig about the results on Monday, that I am still pregnant until either the levels drop to zero or an ultrasound confirms any lack of a viable pregnancy.

It's been very stressful these past few days my babies, probably made even more so by the horrific events we experienced during your very short lives.  I have gone from being terrified about the results to just purely enraged at the incompetence of the slacker.  I am pregnant, trying not to focus on the negative what-ifs and just be positive and know that in hopefully about  35 weeks, we are meeting your little brother or sister for the first time.

All my love darlings.