"Aunt" Manda's Birthday

Wednesday June 27, 2012

Hey baby kiddos,

Today is your Aunt Manda's 44th birthday.  She is the reason your Daddy and I met, she likes to brag she "chaperoned" our first date, the late showing of Cirque de Soleil's "O" at Bellagio in Las Vegas. As soon as she heard about you, she went out and bought you little Baylor onesies, cause she knows how much of a Baylor girl I am.  They are one of the few gifts I kept for you.  They were so tiny, size 0-3 months, and probably would have been the outfits I dressed you in to come home, assuming you waited until April to arrive, and we got to bring you home.  The Baylor onesies, teddy bears from Granpda Larry and Grandma Kay, and the stuffed black Labs from Uncle Bill and Aunt Adrienne.  Everyone was so excited to meet you, I can't stand that other than your grandparents, daddy and I never got to introduce to any of our friends and family. 

When you died Dalton, and the hospital asked us if we had any clothes we wanted to place you in, I asked your Daddy if he thought we should go home and get the Baylor onesie.  He said no, because it would have been gigantically oversized on you, even though it was the tiniest size they made.  So, I didn't even get to outfit you, not even once.  I'm grateful to the hospital for providing a little outfit for you, but it was so not in our style.  I know that sounds ridiculous to care about clothing, but for some reason, in my mind, our not having your "own" clothes to dress you in on that hideous morning just represents one more failure.  And Shelby, baby girl, your little outfit was even more unstylish.  It didn't matter though, I'd have happily dressed you in purple and yellow polyester if it meant you were still with us.

My soul aches missing you both.